Sagepaper

I went to a humor site boasting a large collection of "Dumb Laws." Often the fun with these laws is imagining the antics that necessitated the ordinances. Sometimes the content is just funny. Other times, the appeal is simply the uniqueness of the law. I found an interesting mix of things, and had varied reactions to what I read.

In Arizona, it is unlawful to deny a person a drink of water. This is neither "dumb" nor "funny." I have lived in Arizona. I thought it was outlawing an unspeakable inhumanity, and I was right, but envisioned the wrong setting. The law was passed so businesses, especially convenience stores, could not refuse water to the urban homeless. Phoenix might be a city, but it is still desert.

A few of the laws were listed as having been repealed. They are bits of interesting historic trivia. In Montana, a group of seven or more Indians was considered a war-party or a raiding-party, and it was legal to shoot the Indians. I suppose in these days and times of political correctness, that might draw a titter. It is good that they repealed that law. Caravans of Crow still raid Billings, MT. They come packed all over pick-up trucks, wielding blunt weapons, and vandalize businesses and cars parked on the streets. Then they engage in highspeed chases, trying to make it back to the nearby Reservation where they cannot be followed or arrested. Had this law not been repealed, I am sure there would have been Indian blood shed by helpless and furious citizens of Billings. The days of Indian raiding parties are not yet dead.

The collectors of these laws seem fascinated by all of the ordinances against spitting. Probably they think of Baseball players, or smokeless tobacco, or simple disrespect. In fact, most of the laws against spitting had to do with curbing the spread of tuberculosis.

There were a couple of other common types of law, found across the country, not just regionally. Many of these are simply laws still on the books from when the horse-and-buggy outnumbered the motor cars. Many of these are aimed at not spooking the horses. Some require a flagman or lantern bearer to precede the vehicle when driving in town.

There is one thing I find truly puzzling, though. In many municipalities across the nation, it is unlawful to carry an ice-cream cone in your rear pocket. At least one only applied this restriction to Sunday. This is not simply a local joke, it is found in too many places. Though insensible, I can only conclude that it was a widespread practice. While that thought is odd enough, I wonder why this was so offensive as to require ordinances. There are many laws about ice-cream and Sunday. Is there any deeper religious offense, though, from carrying an ice-cream cone in your backpocket?