Sagepaper

There is a cure for self-condemnation for past mistakes. It is, however, a dangerous cure, that can lead to greater future mistakes. Invoke it only when it is truly needed: You always did your best.

Perhaps you know the mechanism of your past error, and can therefore say, "I could have done better." This is false. You can do better in the future, but you could not have done better in the past. The past is fixed, and no longer fluid. All the influences, subtle and gross, long term and intermediate, deep and shallow, came together in a unique moment.

You might regret that moment, but you could have done no better. Why don't I say, "You could have done no worse?" Perhaps that is also true.

I believe, however, that people are good at their core. I believe that goodness strives incessantly to influence or control us. Some say the same is true of darkness. Some even believe in a Satan that endlessly tempts. I don't have strong beliefs about evil intruders. I just know that many things can hamper or hide the best in us. I'm convinced, though, that goodness holds the center, and expands from there. Evil never holds the center. That means you always did your best. A core of goodness radiated as much goodness as it possibly could on any previous occasion.

Here's the danger: knowing the healing power of this consolation can add another obstacle to your goodness in a tough situation. If you feel like you are losing, you can prematurely comfort yourself with the knowledge that you are doing your best. This can sap your will to fight.

Of course, after that happens, the magic is still there. Your knowledge of this cure became one of the many factors that influenced your ability to radiate goodness. If you could have done better, you would have. Moment-to-moment, though, always try to do your best.