About Me
- Name: Sagepaper
- Location: United States
An only child and service-brat, I was born in Panama. We lived on Indian Reservations when I was two to four-and-a-half -- crucial years for social development. Culturally, I am a mixed-up White Eyes from Mescalero. I began college at fifteen, enjoying a luxurious seven years of rigorous liberal arts education. Since graduating with a B.A. in Psychology, I have avidly read non-fiction, adding enormously to my formal education. Disabled by Tourette's Syndrome and other conditions, I live in Atlanta's suburbia. My father and husband are both physicians, and share a consulting business. (I am very proud of what they do, but I mention their occupations because people cannot seem to move to another small-talk topic if I simply say I am disabled. They must be told an occupation, and will start asking about family members to get one.)
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Herein find essays, musings, Haiku, and other traditional poetry.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Romeo Dallaire and Rwanda
I have just begun reading the book Shake Hands with the Devil by Romeo Dallaire. He was the UNAMIR Commander for the UN peacekeeping forces present in Rwanda before and during the genocide. His is an account which will add to what I have already learned in researching the Genocide.
It has been hard for me to prepare my mind for more firsthand information about Rwanda. I was deeply disturbed when I first read about it, and had nightmares. A year or two later, I extensively researched Rwanda for a case study to be used in my husband's MPH course at a prominent university.
I had even worse nightmares as I tried to see through the material I was reading to the truth the authors were trying to convey. I also had a brief taste of the pure evil so many described. Observers of all different backgrounds spoke of a palpable evil. So powerful was the evil that Westerners as well as locals and non-Western dignitaries present were all conscious of this hideous thing. At a later date, I might present here some research into the shamanistic aspects of what happened in Rwanda.
In the meantime, my author has helped put me at ease. His mind, wracked by PTSD, is even less willing than mine to return to that place and time. I am almost a quarter of the way through the book, and he still has not stepped on African soil. If I had his burden, I don't know that I could ever overcome the procrastination for which he so profusely apologizes.
So, I need good input for good output. For a while, my readings are not going to be inspiring of immediate writings. I will try to do some creative work in between times. Given the subject matter I am studying, I am afraid some of my writing might take a dark turn. If necessary, I will offer you tid-bits from my archives.
Wish me well as I plunge my mind again into a "palpable evil." Hopefully I will not again meet that face-to-face. Still, you know how people might say, "Get your mind out of the gutter?" Well, when I am done with this book, I will need to get my mind out of the bloodbath.
It has been hard for me to prepare my mind for more firsthand information about Rwanda. I was deeply disturbed when I first read about it, and had nightmares. A year or two later, I extensively researched Rwanda for a case study to be used in my husband's MPH course at a prominent university.
I had even worse nightmares as I tried to see through the material I was reading to the truth the authors were trying to convey. I also had a brief taste of the pure evil so many described. Observers of all different backgrounds spoke of a palpable evil. So powerful was the evil that Westerners as well as locals and non-Western dignitaries present were all conscious of this hideous thing. At a later date, I might present here some research into the shamanistic aspects of what happened in Rwanda.
In the meantime, my author has helped put me at ease. His mind, wracked by PTSD, is even less willing than mine to return to that place and time. I am almost a quarter of the way through the book, and he still has not stepped on African soil. If I had his burden, I don't know that I could ever overcome the procrastination for which he so profusely apologizes.
So, I need good input for good output. For a while, my readings are not going to be inspiring of immediate writings. I will try to do some creative work in between times. Given the subject matter I am studying, I am afraid some of my writing might take a dark turn. If necessary, I will offer you tid-bits from my archives.
Wish me well as I plunge my mind again into a "palpable evil." Hopefully I will not again meet that face-to-face. Still, you know how people might say, "Get your mind out of the gutter?" Well, when I am done with this book, I will need to get my mind out of the bloodbath.
Posted by: Sagepaper / 10:29 PM 
Comments:
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I believe that you are right that reading focusing on dark literature, such as that about genocides, serial killings, inner city violence, and the like creates a dark energy that would seem to communicate the propensity for psychiatric disturbances. This is most likely not limited to depression, but may extend to sleep disorders, propensities to autism and isolation, and the like.
Many traditions consider blood to be a vehicle of life energy so perhaps its widespread spilling disseminates a dark life energy that is strong enough even to be conveyed second-hand through writings and film. This would seem to be more sympathetic magic than shamanism.
Many traditions consider blood to be a vehicle of life energy so perhaps its widespread spilling disseminates a dark life energy that is strong enough even to be conveyed second-hand through writings and film. This would seem to be more sympathetic magic than shamanism.
# posted by 
: 4/26/2005 12:23 AM
: 4/26/2005 12:23 AM
I agree that there are traditional, scientific ways of assessing the impact of reading about dark subjects. I thnk the degree of problem would depend on the degree of immersion. Of course, you have to look at the correlation and ask, "Which came first: the depression and such or the reading."
Regarding my past difficulties with the subject matter, I would agree that "sympathetic magic" would be a better explanation than shamanism. My reference to shamanism is not to any personal experience I have had with this topic. Rather, there is good documentation of a strong shamanic element to what the genocidaires were suddenly willing, and physically capable of doing. This documentation even includes a bit of information from pioneering scientist Jane Goodall, or an associate of hers who knows her well.
Obviously, the reality of the effects of local shamanism was something she did not discuss with Westerners. She had enough of an uphill climb as a female scientist starting out. She has further challenged herself with a major effort at conservation of primate habitat in the Great Lakes region of Africa. This effort has required a diplomatic effort on her part to gain cooperation from local governments and support from donor nations and organizations.
She has even less desire to be labeled a nut case than I do. While I know I am opening myself up to sharp criticism and mockery, the shamanic rites involved in the genocide are something I think must be written about.
When I finished my first book on Rwanda, I knew there was something additional going on. I never expected to find documented confirmation of my suspicions. When I did start finding scattered references, I thought I would like to pull them together, at least for myself, and gain a deeper understanding of "Hutu Power."
Regarding my past difficulties with the subject matter, I would agree that "sympathetic magic" would be a better explanation than shamanism. My reference to shamanism is not to any personal experience I have had with this topic. Rather, there is good documentation of a strong shamanic element to what the genocidaires were suddenly willing, and physically capable of doing. This documentation even includes a bit of information from pioneering scientist Jane Goodall, or an associate of hers who knows her well.
Obviously, the reality of the effects of local shamanism was something she did not discuss with Westerners. She had enough of an uphill climb as a female scientist starting out. She has further challenged herself with a major effort at conservation of primate habitat in the Great Lakes region of Africa. This effort has required a diplomatic effort on her part to gain cooperation from local governments and support from donor nations and organizations.
She has even less desire to be labeled a nut case than I do. While I know I am opening myself up to sharp criticism and mockery, the shamanic rites involved in the genocide are something I think must be written about.
When I finished my first book on Rwanda, I knew there was something additional going on. I never expected to find documented confirmation of my suspicions. When I did start finding scattered references, I thought I would like to pull them together, at least for myself, and gain a deeper understanding of "Hutu Power."
# posted by : 4/26/2005 1:08 AM
: 4/26/2005 1:08 AM
I admire your bravery very much. I want to know about the Rwanda genocide, too, realizing that it is a seminal event in our history and much can be learned from it (and applied, hopefully, to Sudan and other regions where similiar atrocities continue daily). But being a depressive, I am nervous about reading accounts of the genocide and reluctant to see films about it. Shake Hands with the Devil and Hotel Rwanda both played at theatres in my neighborhood, and I couldn't bring myself to watch either. Not just the evil of the killers, but the sorrow and helplessness of the survivors are what affect me most when I hear first-hand accounts. But knowing about such things - facing them rather than turning away in fear - is necessary if we are to see and prevent such crimes in the future.
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