Herein find essays, musings, Haiku, and other traditional poetry.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Random Quote

Once in a while, I will offer you a quote from my memoirs. Here is the first:



Even bitter silence is better than bitter words.

People have disagreed with me on this point. My husband believes that even bitter words are better than bitter silence. He has an easier time falling asleep than I do. When we have quarreled, I come to bitter silence in due course.

The entire issue of silence has been one of my problems with assimilating into mainstream society. Most people are uncomfortable with silence, and will do almost anything to break it. It doesn't matter how bizarre or even rude their behavior and speech are, they must restore conversation. I have tried to learn to cooperate, but sometimes the efforts made are repulsive to me, and I have even less desire to speak.

Oddly, I learned to be a good conversationalist. The trick is to ask the right questions, listen, put off "interested" signals, and ask new questions as needed. Truly listening requires some effort, but not much. For me, I used to find listening far easier than speaking. Now, after years of unpleasantries, I often find it difficult to focus on what is being said to me.

What do you think? I know that neither is desirable, but which would you choose? Bitter silence? Bitter words?
Comments:
Your final statement is correct, neither one is a good choice, however you ask for a preference of the two. In the heat of the moment I would prefer bitter words over silence. Words I can fight, silence fans the flames but leaves me defenseless. However, in hindsight how often do you remember a loved ones bitter silences, but how can you ever truely forget a loved ones bitter words...therefore I side with you, bitter silence over words is the better choice of the two.

I enjoy your website. Thanks.

spikesdad.blogspot.com
 
Between You and Them

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends, and some true
enemies.
Be successful anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

(A sign found in the home of Mother Theresa)
 
I often find that when faced with bitter words it is best to admit nothing, deny everything, and make counteraccusations. Silence seems to follow the principle that, when you are in a hole, you should stop digging. It is a time-honored control strategy. Yet, if you value communication more than control, perhaps well-chosen words are better.
 
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